Feudal Japan News at 6!
by Junsei-Yami
Summary: What happens when Feudal Japan gets its own news channel? Read to find out!


Hey everyone! This is just a random story about what would happen if Feudal Japan got its own news channel! Sorry if the characters aren't really in character. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Happy?

Normal talk

_Inuyasha's thoughts_

* * *

Inuyasha walked into Kaede's hut, hoping to find Kagome. Or anyone for that matter. All of his friends had mysteriously disappeared. Sadly, the hut was empty. In the middle of the floor there was a strange black box. Inuyasha saw that it was what Kagome had in her house, it was a T.V.!

He approached it and turned it on.

The screen blinked, then turned on. A few colors were flying on the screen, until they settled into words. "Feudal Japan News at 6? Since when do we have a news channel?" Inuyasha looked around the room. "And when did we get cable?" Still, he decided to watch it.

The camera went to Sango and Miroku sitting at a table and dressed in fancy suits. _What the hell?_

"Good evening Feudal Japan. I'm Miroku."

"And I'm Sango"

"And tonight we have some very interesting news to cover."

The camera zoomed in on Sango.

"But first, let's go see how the weather's going to be like this week with our chief meteorologist, Kagura!"

Kagura's the weather lady? Well. I guess that makes some sense…

The camera cut to Kagura, in a casual business outfit, standing in front of a map of Feudal Japan.

"Today we'll have a 10% chance of rain…..AND A LOT OF WIND!!!!!" She started waving her fan around like a lunatic. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

It went back to Sango and Miroku, with surprised looks on their faces.

Miroku glanced at Sango. "Well, she's fired."

"I told you she was evil," Sango muttered under her breath.

Miroku looked back at the camera. "Anyway, now let's check out what Kagome has to tell us. Take it away, Kagome!"

The camera cut to Kagome standing in the middle of a forest. _So that's where she went!!!_

"Thanks Miroku! I'm here with breaking news, something so shocking you'll never have guessed it would happen. Naraku has another piece of the jewel shard!!!!!"

The camera went back to Sango and Miroku.

Sango gasped. "How could that have possibly happened?!?!?"

Miroku shook his head. "I never saw that coming!"

_What are these guys saying? It's really no surprise that Naraku got ANOTHER piece of the jewel. It happens all the time!_

It cut back to Kagome. "Well, it's as true as the fact that my skirt is way too short. Additionally, it's raining bacon. Details at 7. Back to you, Miroku."

The camera went back to Sango and Miroku.

Miroku stood up. "Wait a minute, it's raining bacon?! I'm gonna go get some!!!!!" He ran out the back door.

Sango stood up as well. "Don't leave without me!" She turned back to the camera. "Uh…and now it's time for….um…flowers with Rin! WAIT FOR ME, MIROKU!!!" She ran out the back door, following Miroku.

It cut to Rin standing in a field of flowers.

"Hello everyone! I'm here to teach you all about the wonderful world of flowers! This is a daisy!! This is a rose!! This is a pansy!! This is a daffodil!! This is a-"

The camera went back to Sango and Miroku.

"And we're back!" Miroku said with a mouth full of bacon.

Sango swallowed hers. "Let's go to Koga with a special report!"

It cut to Koga standing in a burnt field.

"Thank you. I'm here at the exact place where, not too long ago, an intense and bloody battle between Inuyasha and Naraku took place. The two fought for what seemed like days, nay, weeks, until Naraku finally grew too weak, allowing Inuyasha deliver the final blow. But alas, it turned out to only be a puppet."

_What? That battle was really quick!! It wasn't intense at all!!! Everyone knew that I was going to win…_

The camera went back to Sango and Miroku.

Miroku looked at Sango. "What a shocker!!!"

Sango looked at the camera. "I know. And now we have economics with Sesshomaru."

It cut to Sesshomaru standing in a village.

"Yes, well everyone's broke, no one can hold down a job," he mumbled under his breath, "or a girlfriend…..and people are contracting terrible diseases faster than you can say 'rudabaga'. That is all."

The camera went back to Sango and Miroku.

Miroku glanced at Sango. "Huh…"

Sango looked at the camera. "Um…right. Now we have-"

Naraku came bursting through the wall, dressed in all black with a hocky mask on and holding a banana. "THIS IS A ROBBERY!!! NOBODY MOVE!!! I'M ARMED!!!!!!" He waved the banana around.

Miroku stood up next to him. "This isn't a bank…."

Naraku put the banana down. "It isn't?"

"No. Sorry."

Sango stood up as well. "Naraku, why in the world are you holding a banana?"

Naraku held the banana up proudly. "Because, bananas are EVIL!!!!! Wait, um…..I'm not Naraku!"

Miroku narrowed his eyes. "Yeah ya are…."

Naraku turned around. "Curses. They saw through my clever disguise…"

"We can hear you, NARAKU!" Sango turned him back around.

"This is not the Naraku you're looking for…" He waved his hands around their faces.

Miroku slapped his hands away. "You're Jedi mind tricks won't work on us!!!

Random light sabers appeared in their hands and they started fighting. _What the hell are they doing? This isn't Star Wars!!!_

Sango ran up to the camera. "Quick cut to commercial!! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!!!!"

The screen changed to Shippo. "Do you have ugly, rough skin like this fellow?" He pointed to Jaken.

Jaken looked up. "What?"

"Then you need Clear and Clean! It melts the ugly right off you!!!

Shippo got out a small bottle and rubbed the contents on Jaken.

"OH!!! IT BURNS!!!!" Jaken started running in circles.

Shippo grabbed him and pointed him at the camera. "See? No more ugly!"

Jaken wriggled out of Shippo's grasp. "YOU MELTED MY SKIN OFF YOU LITTLE-"

"So what are you waiting for? Call now!"

"I'm GONNA SUE YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE!!!!!"

Inuyasha turned the t.v. off. "I'm gonna go read a book…"


End file.
